Why I cry on Thanksgiving

I am just having a glass of vino, getting over my thanksgiving cry. I cry every year on Thanksgiving when I make the turkey. This year I cried when I put the turkey breast in the oven- it isn't even a real turkey and there was no thinking involved. Why do I cry? Because since I moved away from home, every time I have made a turkey I always call my Grandma R for help. I have made many, many turkeys in my time- Jeff likes the whole bird for every special occasion, even if it is just the two of us. So, I have made more turkeys than many people my age- I probably have it down by now. But, every time I make a turkey it seems I have just one question or concern that I want to confirm with an expert- my grandma. Such a nice talk- to get advice and guidance from her. I still love her so much and miss her dearly- it especially hurts when I do the turkey and have no one to call. So, of couse I called my mom (lauren is asleep and jeff is at work) for some moral support. She could probably help with the turkey questions too- but I dont really have any- just need to be cheered up.
My other grandma was the baker - she would be my "go-to" lady for baking advice, something that I struggle with at this altitude, so I cry less in the kitchen about her, but I miss them both so much. It makes me think, with a smile, will I be someone's beloved grandma one day?  I certainly hope so. The way a grandchild loves her grandparents is so amazing- it is the purest love- just adoration. I cannot wait to be on the receiving end one day- I bet it is great!