Why I hate fake butter...

1. It tastes bad
2. It smells bad
3. It looks gross
4. It doesn't melt
5. It jacks up your baking (still trying to make cut-out cookies that aren't rocks)
6. It is hard to find the dairy-free kind (basically because it sucks, who would want to sell/ buy it)
7. It is fake- got it? Fake is not good...
8. It has an expiration date of like a year (actually this is kinda convenient, but still freaky)
9. It separates into several layers if you try to melt it
10. It smells funny if you try to saute stuff in fake butter.

In summary, I crave good old fashioned butter. This is the single worst part of Lauren's allergies- the gross, fake, diet butter substitute, YUCK! Guess my cholesterol is like 80, so I should be thankful, but who wants to live to be 120 years old in a world without real butter??????